Tuesday, February 8, 2011

TOP TEN SONGS ABOUT MASTURBATION

Note to the reader: Before anyone argues that THE STROKE by Billy Squier should be on this list, go listen to the song again. The lyrics are about psychological manipulation.

DARLING NIKKI by Prince
These dirty lyrics inspired Tiper Gore to force the record companies to play WARNING: EXPLICIT LYRICS stickers on their CDs. Thanks Tipper. By the way, when's the last time you gave Al a massage? That's what I thought.

ROSIE by Jackson Brown
My personal favorite, and maybe the most clever.

Rosie you're all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- baby, that's my thing
When I turn out the light -- I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight, Rosie.

SMUT by Skyhooks
So much for subtle lyrics.

Slip into a cinema and give yourself a treat,
Better take a raincoat could be sticky on the seat,
Open up you Twisties and open up your fly,
Pictures start to flicker as your hand moves down your thigh.

TURNING JAPANESE by The Vapors
A song that needs no explanation.

WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU I TOUCH MYSELF by The Divinyls
An obvious choice.

VIBRATOR INDEPENDENT by Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper
The funniest song on this list, hands down. :-) Poor Mojo's girlfriend has become addicted to her battery operated device, much to his frustration and consternation.

DANCING WITH MYSELF by Billy Idol
No explanation needed.

IMAGINARY LOVER by The Atlanta Rhythm Section
Imaginary lovers, never turn you down
When all the others turn you away, they're around
It's my private pleasure, midnight fantasy

PICTURES OF LILY by The Who
Lily must have been smokin!

SHE BOP by Cyndi Lauper
"I wanna go south and get me some more."

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

PRAYING HANDS by Devo
Possible the oddest song here, but it's DEVO!

you got your left hand /you got your right hand
the left hand's diddling while the right hand goes to work
you got both hands you got praying hands


MY DING-A-LING by Chuck Berry
Poor Chuck. He wrote dozens of classic songs but his only #1 hit was this
clunky ode to his manjunk.


1 comment:

koen said...

My Ding-A-Ling was not written by Chuck Berry but my New Orleans Rhythm & Blues musician Dave Bartholomew. Berry made it popular but as with many rock 'n roll stuff, the history goes deeper into the blues. http://www.secondhandsongs.com/topic/5944?offset=0#m17567