Thursday, October 1, 2009

POLITICIANS NEVER LIE ...YOU'RE JUST BEING DELUSIONAL

December 12, 2008. President-elect Obama is asked about the scandal concerning Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. His response:

"I am pleased to report that despite having been both an Illinois state senator and a United States Senator during Blagojevich’s term in office, I had absolutely no idea who he was. Furthermore, I never discussed anything with him. I mean, all my aides kept talking about Blagojevich this, Blagojevich that. I really thought they were talking about a kind of sandwich. You know, something ethnic with pastrami and a lot of horseradish. I never actually knew who Illinois’s governor was. Nor did I ever meet him."


If you b
elieve Obama did not even know who was the governor of his state and, that Obama had never met him ... then you probably agree with the following statements:

- We never landed on the moon.
- Lee Harvey Oswald was the only person involved in Kennedy's death.
- Rosie O'Donnell is sexier than Sarah Palin.
- The Bay City Rollers are greater than The Beatles.

- George W. Bush was a great president.
- Hillary didn't know about Monica
.
-
Pat Conroy's South of Broad is the greatest novel since To Kill a Mockingbird.
-
Sex with a 13-year old drugged girl is NOT rape.
- James Patterson writes better books than Pat Conroy.
- The world is flat.
- Kim Kardashian's breasts are real.
- Wom
en never fake orgasm.





Monday, September 21, 2009

1959 - MY YEAR

For everyone who turns 50 this year - like me! - here are some interesting facts about OUR YEAR.

Alaska and Hawaii become the 49th and 50th states.

Mattel launches the Barbi doll.

Fidel Castro takes charge of Cuba.

James Michener's Hawaii is published.

NASA introduces the original seven Mercury astronauts.

In the Congo, the first known human death from HIV.

First Annual Grammy Awards. Frank Sinatra wins "Best Album" Award for Come Dance With Me.

Motown Records is started by Berry Gordy, Jr.

Sound of Music debuts on Broadway.

Dalai Lama flees from Tibet.

Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper are killed in Iowa.

Top movies included: Some Like It Hot, Ben Hur (11 Academy Awards), North By Northwest, Sleeping Beauty.

Bonanza premieres on NBC, the first television show completely in color.

Huckleberry Hound show premieres.

First Boeing 707 transatlantic flight.

William Burroughs publishes The Naked Lunch.

Xerox introduces the first commercial copy machine.

Frank Lloyd Wright dies.

Texas Instrument announces the invention of the integrated circuit - the microchip.

First weather station placed in orbit.

Parker Brothers introduce the game Risk.

Bozo the Clown premieres.

Busch Gardens opens in Florida.

George Reeves (TV's Superman) commits suicide.

Average price for a gallon of gas: $0.25

Cost of a new car: $2200.00

#1 Song of the Year: Mack the Knife by Bobby Darin.

In Kansas Herb and Bonnie Clutter and their 2 children were murdered by Dick Hickock and Perry Smith. The event was the basis for the 1966 Truman Capote novel In Cold Blood, and a 1967 film.

Pillow Talk starring Rock Hudson and Doris Day is a big hit.

Miles Davis records Kind of Blue with John Coltrane, Cannonball Adderly, Philley Joe Jones, Paul Chambers and Bill Evans.

Sweet Bird of Youth by Tennessee Williams opens on Broadway.

The first two American soldiers are killed in Vietnam.

The Twilight Zo
ne premieres on CBS.

A Separate Peace
by John Knowles is published.

Eveready introduces the first alkaline battery.

Pantyhose is introduced.

Dr. Zhivago
by Boris Pasternek is published.

Cecile B. Demille, Lou Costello and Raymond Chandler die.

West Side Story
closes on Broadway.

Billie Holiday dies.

Americans purchase 100 million Hula Hoops.

Rocky and his Friends
premieres. Cartoons will never be the same.

Chubby Checker introduces "The Twist" on The Dick Clark Saturday Night Show.

The Manchurian Candidate by Richard Condon is published.


SOME FAMOUS PEOPLE BORN IN 1959
Mark Martin (NASCAR Driver)
Keith Olberman
John McEnroe
Irene Cara
Brian Setzer
David Hyde Pierce
Robert Smith (The Cure)
Brian Williams (NBC)
Jim Nantz
Nicole Simpson Brown (O.J.'s ex-wife)
Suzanne Vega
Rosanna Arquette
Danny Bonaduce
Magic Johnson
Emma Thompson (still hot!)
Fred Couples
Simon Cowell
Marie Osmond
"Weird Al" Yankovic
Neal Stephenson (writer)
Bryan Adams
Kim Delaney (actress - still very hot!)
Val Kilmer

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Partial LIST OF EMBARRASING SC POLITICIANS: VOL. 1

PRESTON BROOKS was a member of the South Carolina State house of representatives in 1844. Brooks was elected to Congress in 1853 as a Democrat. On May 22, 1856, Brooks beat Senator Charles Sumner with his Gutta-percha wood walking cane in the Senate chamber because of a speech Sumner had made three days earlier, criticizing President Franklin Pierce and Southerners who sympathized with the pro-slavery violence in Kansas. In particular, Sumner lambasted Brooks' kinsman, Senator Andrew Butler.

At first intending to challenge Sumner to a duel Brooks consulted with fellow South Carolina Rep. Laurence Keitt on dueling etiquette. Keitt instructed him that dueling was for gentlemen of equal social standing, and suggested that due to his coarse language in public, Sumner occupied a lower social status lower than a drunkard. Keitt argued that a duel was too good for Sumner.

PHOTO: J.L. McGee's famous political cartoon of Preston's attack.

Two days after the speech, on the afternoon of May 22, Brooks confronted Sumner as he sat writing at his desk in the almost empty Senate chamber. Brooks was accompanied by Keitt and Henry A. Edmunston of Virginia.

Brooks said, "Mr. Sumner, I have read your speech twice over carefully. It is a libel on South Carolina, and Mr. Butler, who is a relative of mine."

As Sumner began to stand up, Brooks began beating Sumner on the head with his thick cane with a gold head. Sumner was trapped under the heavy desk (which was bolted to the floor), but Brooks continued to bash Sumner until he ripped the desk from the floor. By this time, Sumner was blinded by his own blood, and he staggered up the aisle and collapsed, lapsing into unconsciousness. Brooks continued to beat Sumner until he broke his cane, then quietly left the chamber. Several other senators attempted to help Sumner, but were blocked by Keitt who was holding a pistol and shouting "Let them be!" (Keitt would be censured for his actions.)

South Carolinians sent Brooks dozens of brand new canes, with one bearing the phrase, "Hit him again." The Richmond Enquirer crowed: "We consider the act good in conception, better in execution, and best of all in consequences. These vulgar abolitionists in the Senate must be lashed into submission."

Brooks survived an expulsion vote in the House but resigned his seat, claiming both that he "meant no disrespect to the Senate of the United States" by attacking Sumner and that he did not intend to kill him, for he would have used a different weapon if he had. His constituents thought of him as a hero and returned him to Congress.

However, Brooks's attack on Sumner was regarded in the north as the act of a cowardly barbarian. One of the bitterest critics of
the attack was Sumner's fellow New Englander, Congressman Anson Burlingame. When Burlingame denounced Brooks as a coward on the floor of the House, Brooks challenged him to a duel, and Burlingame accepted the challenge. Burlingame, as the challenged party, specified rifles as the weapons, and to get around American anti-dueling laws he named the Navy Yard on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls as the site. Brooks backed out of the challenge, claiming that he would be murdered on his way north. Burlingame's reputation as a deer hunter and a deadly shot with a rifle could also have been a factor. Brooks remained in office until his death in 1857. He is buried in Edgefield, SC.

JOHN (Hon
est John) JAMES PATTERSON was a businessman and U.S. Senator from SC. Honest John was perhaps the most successful swindler during Reconstruction. In fact, when there was a suggestion that the Republican Party should reform he replied, “Why, there are five more years of good stealing in South Carolina!” His greatest swindle was the manipulation of the Columbia, Greenville and Blue Ridge Railroads. The state spent $6 million and received nothing in return. Some estimates claim that Patterson absconded with more than a third of the money for the railroad venture.

Honest John was elected to the U.S. Senate in 1872. During that time, U.S Senators were selected by the state legislature. Patterson claimed the election cost him $40,000 in bribes to each state Legislator - bribed by the state’s own money which Honest John had stolen from the railroad swindle.


BENJAMIN TILLMAN (Pitchfork Ben) served as SC governor from 1890 to 1894, and as a U.S. Senator from 1895 until his death as a Democrat. Tillman also was a founder of Clemson University and served as one of its earliest trustees.

As a young man he was involved in the execution of a black state senator, Simon Coker. Two of Tillman’s men executed Coker with a shot to the head. Tillman ordered that a second shot was needed just in case he was playing possum.” Tillman believed that the payment for the death of one white man should be the death of seven blacks. Tillman began to attract statewide attention through his diatribes against blacks, bankers and aristocrats who he claimed were running and ruining the state. Tillman believed that farmers were butchering the land by renting to ignorant lazy Negroes.”


He was present at the Hamburg Massacre (near current day Aiken, SC) in July 1876, during which an African-American federal militia was overthrown and its arms seized. After their surrender 6 members of the militia were killed in cold blood by a group of armed white citizens led by Tillman's fellow "Red Shirts."

As governor Tillman was largely responsible for calling the State constitutional convention in 1895 that disenfranchised most of South Carolina's black men and instituted Jim Crow laws. As Tillman proudly proclaimed in 1900:

"We have done our level best [to prevent blacks from voting]...we have scratched our heads to find out how we could eliminate the last one of them. We stuffed ballot boxes. We shot them. We are not ashamed of it. We do not intend to submit to Negro domination and all the Yankees from Cape Cod to hell can make us submit to it."

He was elected to the U.S. Senate in 1894, and was re-elected in 1900, 1906, and 1912. He served from 1895 to his death in 1918. A hotheaded and intemperate debater, Tillman became known as "Pitchfork Ben" after a speech he made on the Senate floor in 1896. In this speech, Tillman made several references to pitchforks and threatened to go to the White House and "poke old Grover [Cleveland] with a pitchfork" to prod him into action.

During his Senate career, he was censured by the Senate in 1902 after assaulting his counterpart SC Senator John L. McLaurin. As a result, the Senate added to its rules the provision that "No senator in debate shall, directly or indirectly, by any form of words impute to another Senator or to other Senators any conduct or motive unworthy or unbecoming a Senator."He was also barred from the White House.

Reacting to news that Booker T. Washington had dined at the White House with President Theodore Roosevelt and his family, Tillman predicted, "The action of President Roosevelt in entertaining that nigger will necessitate our killing a thousand niggers in the South before they will learn their place again."

COLEMAN BLEASE was elected SC governor (1910) and U.S. Senator (1924) favored complete white supremacy in all matters. He encouraged the practice of lynching, was steadfastly against the education of blacks, and he even derided one of his opponents for being a trustee of a black school. Blease once buried the severed finger of a Black man who had been lynched in the South Carolina gubernatorial garden.

In addition, Blease failed to enforce laws and even encouraged breaking the law. His black chauffeur was fined twice for speeding and both times Blease pardoned him. Blease enjoyed the use of the pardon and he stated that he wanted to pardon at least one thousand men before he exited office because he wanted "to give the poor devils a chance." He far exceeded his goal and it is estimated that he pardoned between 1,500 to 1,700 prisoners, some of whom were guilty of murder and other heinous crimes. Blease received payments to pardon criminals.

JOHN JENRETTE (Congressman 1975-80) is most famous for two actions during his days as a Congressman. First, he had sex with his then-wife, Rita Jenrette, behind a pillar on the steps of the Capitol Building during a break in a late night session of Congress. The comedy group "Capital Steps" takes their name from this escapade. Second, he was charged with and convicted for accepting a $50,000 bribe in the FBI Abscam sting operation conducted by the FBI in 1980. Jenrette was sentenced to two years in prison, of which he served 13 months. He had not been videotaped taking bribes, as some of his colleagues had, but he was recorded saying he'd been given cash by an associate.

In January 1981, Jenrette's second wife, Rita, said she was seeking a divorce. Rita found $25,000 in $100 bills (much of it FBI bribe money) in her husband's brown suede shoes. Rita didn't help relations with the constituents back home when she once called them "cornballs."

Rita is probably best known for (1) telling us that she and John had sex on the steps of the U.S. Capitol (and that became a hot stop on the Washington Sex Scandals tour for out-of-towners; and (2) posing nude in Playboy. She also wrote that she found him on Capitol Hill "drunk, undressed and lying on the floor in the arms of a woman who I knew was old enough to be his mother."

In 1989 John Jenrette was convicted of shoplifting a necktie from a department store in Bailey's Crossroads, VA. and was sentenced to 30 days.

PHOTO: Rita's nude scene in the cinema classic Zombie Island Massacre.



TODAY IN HISTORY: SERIAL KILLER COUPLE MEETS


SEPT. 10, 1977. Gerald Gallego met a young, two time divorced woman, Charlene Adell Williams, at a poker club in Sacramento, CA. The two immediately hit it off and within a week of their first encounter, Charlene moved in with Gerald. Thus began the couple’s infamous relationship, resulting in one of the worst serial killing teams in American history.

Gerald Gallego already had a checkered past before he met Charlene. In 1955 Gerald's father was executed in Mississippi's gas chamber for killing two cops. At age thirteen Gerald was arrested for raping a six-year-old girl. By age 32 he had been married five times and a daughter who lived with Gerald's mother. He also had seven felony convictions. By the time Charlene met Gerald, she had already gone through two marriages and had acquired a hard-drug habit.

Gerald told Charlene he was impotent and the only cure was frequent sex with virgins and multiple women in his bed. Within a month of Charlene moving in, Gerald brought home a teenage runaway for a threesome. However, he became extremely angry when he found out that Charlene and the girl were having sex without him. He went into a rage and physically abused Charlene and her young lover while berating and shouting at them.

The couple decided the best way to deal with Gerald's sexual problem was to seek out victims that could keep Gerald sexually satisfied.

JULY 17, 1978. Gerald and Charlene celebrated his thirty-second birthday by sodomizing his teenage daughter Krista. They also discovered Charlene was pregnant.

SEPT. 1 1, 1978. He and Charlene hopped into their 1973 Dodge van and drove off in search of a sex slave for Gerald. They soon spotted two young girls, seventeen-year-old Rhonda Scheffler, and sixteen-year-old Kippi Vaught. Gerald pulled the van over a short distance away and Charlene approached the girls on the pretext of joining them in the van to smoke some Marijuana. The girls quickly agreed and followed Charlene back to the van. When Rhonda and Kippi stepped into the back of the van they were greeted by Gerald and a .25 caliber pistol. He forced the girls to lie face down as he bound their hands and feet with adhesive tape. He then drove to a secluded area where he unbound the girl’s ankles and led them out of the van and into the cover of trees, warning Charlene to stay put. Two hours later Gerald returned to the van without the young girls. He looked at Charlene and recanted the chilling words, "Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies."

SEPT. 13, 1978. Two days later, two migrant farm workers discovered the girl's bodies. Gerald took Charlene to an abortion clinic and forced her to abort their unborn child.

SEPT. 27, 1978. Gerald's daughter Krista filed charges of incest, sodomy, oral copulation, and unlawful intercourse against her father.

SEPT. 30, 1978. Gerald and Charlene were wed. Not wanting to face the charges his daughter had filed, they moved to Nevada.

DECEMBER 1978. The couple moved to Houston Texas, and Gerald took on the alias Stephen Feil.

JUNE 24, 1979 (Fathers Day). The couple went to the Washoe County Fair and Gerald sent Charlene off to find the new victim(s). She approached two girls, fourteen-year-old Brenda Lynne Judd, and thirteen-year-old Sandra Kay Colley, and offered them money to distribute handbills and place them on the windshields of parked cars. The two girls agreed and followed Charlene back to the van. However, once they arrived at the van, Gerald pulled a .44 caliber pistol, forced the girls into the van and bound there feet and wrists. As Charlene drove Gerald began to sexually assault the two young girls in the back of the van. Hours later, in the high Nevada desert, Gerald led the girls off one at a time, carrying with him a hammer and a shovel.

SEPT. 1979. The Gallego’s moved back to Sacramento and continued to live under the aliases of Mr. and Mrs. Feil. Gerald eventually got a job as a bartender and soon began having an affair with a woman by the name of Patty, who eventually became pregnant with his child.

April 24, 1980. Gerald woke that morning and told Charlene, "I want a girl! Get up!" They drove around until he spotted two girls, seventeen-year-old Karen Chipman Twiggs, and seventeen-year-old Stacy Ann Redican, coming out of a book store. Charlene approached the two girls and offered them to join her in the van, again using the pre-text of smoking some weed. The girls agreed and followed her back to the van. As the girls got into the back of the van, Gerald greeted them with a .357 Magnum pistol. Charlene drove to a wooded are and they took turns raping and sexually assaulting the girls. Again, Gerald led the girls one at a time into the woods carrying a hammer and a shovel. However, this time he forced Charlene to view the graves. She claimed that she saw movement but Gerald insisted that they were good and dead. Then they left.

JULY 27, 1980. Picnickers discovered the coyote-ravaged remains of Karen and Stacy in two shallow graves in an area twenty miles outside of Lovelock, Nevada. They had both been raped, and suffered massive and fatal head injuries by a blunt instrument.

MAY 1980. Charlene was again pregnant by Gerald, and he was again pissed off.

JUNE 1, 1980. Gerald and Charlene married each other for a second time. However, this time they were wed as Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Robert Feil.

JUNE 7, 1980. Gerald and Charlene spotted a lone pregnant woman hitchhiking, twenty-one-year-old Linda Aguilar who four months pregnant. The young woman gladly accepted the ride and joined the couple in the van. After a short drive to a remote beach area, Gerald raped Linda, and then beat her over the head with a rock. To satisfy himself that she was dead he strangled her corpse for good measure and then buried her in the beach sand.

JUNE 22, 1980. German tourists walking the beach discovered Linda’s badly decomposing body. After an autopsy was completed, it was determined that Gerald was unsuccessful in murdering Linda, she actually had awaken after her captors left, and in her panic and struggle to get free suffocated in the sand.

JULY 17, 1980. Gerald’s thirty-fourth birthday, he abducted thirty-four-year-old Virginia Mochel as she walked from the tavern where she worked as a barmaid. The strange thing about this victim is the fact that Gerald and Charlene knew her and had been served drinks by her on numerous occasions. At any rate, Gerald raped Virginia, and afterwards she begged him to kill her. He gladly obliged and strangled her. He then dumped her body by a pond.

NOV. 2, 1980. Twenty-two-year-old Craig Miller, and his fiancée, twenty-one-year-old Mary Elizabeth Sowers, were leaving a fraternity party. Gerald got out of the car, walked right up to them on the street and brazenly pulled out a .25 caliber Beretta. He ordered them into the car. Unfortunately for Gerald, friends of the young couple saw them get into the vehicle and wrote down the license plate number. After driving to a secluded area, Gerald commanded Craig out of the car, as the young man turned to walk towards the front of the vehicle, Gerald aimed his pistol and shot the boy point blank range in the back of the head while his fiancée looked on in horror. Gerald then fired two more shots into Craig’s head, as he lay lifeless on the ground. Gerald got back into the vehicle and ordered Charlene to drive to their apartment. Once back at the apartment, Gerald took his new sex slave into the bedroom and raped her for hours on end. After he was satisfied, he ordered Charlene to drive to a rural area. Once there, Gerald ordered Mary out of the car. He then shot her three times in the head.

Craig and Mary's friends turned over the license plate number to the police. The police questioned Charlene and obtained a search warrant for their vehicle and house. Within minutes, investigators to find substantial evidence such as bullet casings and other suspicious tools. After mercifully interrogating Charlene, she spilled her guts and told all.

JAN. 17, 1981. Charlene, while in a prison ward, gave birth to Gerald Armond Gallego Jr. Custody of the child was given to Charlene’s parents.

JUNE 21, 1983. Gerald Armond Gallego Sr., was sentenced to death for the murder of the Craig Miller and Mary Elizabeth Sowers.

NOV. 1983. Due to a plea-bargain struck with prosecutors to testify against Gerald, Charlene was sentenced to sixteen years and eight months in prison, with the understanding that no other charges in ANY other state could or would be pressed against her, as long as she gave full cooperation, which she did.

June 25, 1984. Gerald was extradited to Nevada and sentenced to death for the murders of Karen Twiggs and Stacey Redican.

August 1997. At the age of forty, Charlene Adell Williams Gallego, was released on parole from the Department of Prisons Woman’s Center in Carson City, Nevada.

March 22, 1999. A competency hearing was held to determine the mental state of Gerald Gallego. Gallego, 52, has been undergoing a court-ordered evaluation by doctors since exhibiting bizarre behavior at a hearing in November that was supposed to be the first step toward a penalty-phase retrial of his 1984 murder convictions. That evaluation has been concluded, and attorneys from both sides conferred and settled on the starting date for the hearing that will decide if Gallego is competent to proceed. During much of his competency hearing Gerald Gallego slept under a table in his cell and communicated with doctors through a food slot in the door. According to Dr. David V. Foster, such behavior, combined with evidence of organic brain dysfunction, is indicative of a mental state that renders him incapable of assisting counsel in a retrial of his penalty-phase proceedings. Foster, an Auburn psychiatrist hired to assist Gallego's appellate defense team in California in 1994, added that Gallego's behavior is a result of a "delusion that there's a herd of people from the dark side who are his enemy." Claiming that Gallego suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from an extremely abusive childhood, and is afflicted by brain damage caused by head injuries sustained in his youth, the good doctor declared it would, "inhibit his ability to plan, problem-solve, comprehend and make judgments."

Gerald Gallego is currently still in prison.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

TEDDY - DEADY.

Q. What do 15,000 bottles of scotch and Mary Jo Kopechne have in common?
A. All were killed by Ted Kennedy.

BOSTON.
Roto-Reuters News Service. U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy, a towering figure in the Democratic Party who took the helm of one of America's most fabled political families after two older brothers were assassinated, died at age 77, his family said.

One of the most influential and longest-serving senators in U.S. history -- a liberal standard-bearer who was also known as a consummate congressional dealmaker -- Kennedy had been battling brain cancer, which was diagnosed in May 2008.

Q. What is the difference between Ted Kennedy and Pamela Anderson?
A. Pamela had life guard training.

After his brother Robert Kennedy's death, Edward was expected to waste little time in vying for the presidency. But in 1969, a young woman, Mary Jo Kopechne drowned after a car Kennedy was driving plunged off a bridge on the Massachusetts resort island of Chappaquiddick after a night of partying.

Kennedy's image took a major hit after it emerged he had failed to report the accident to authorities. He pleaded guilty to leaving the scene and received a suspended sentence.

IN RELATED NEWS: The Kopechne Family Party Starts Today.

When contacted by Roto-Reuters for a statement, St. Peter responded, "Teddy who?"

Thursday, August 20, 2009

SOUTH OF BROAD by Pat Conroy ... My Literary Twitter Review


I am critiquing Pat Conroy's new novel as I read it. (August 17-20) Think of this as Literary Twitting.

*************
THE PROLOGUE: Conroy is famous for his poetic prologues. The one in "The Lords of Discipline" was great, and the prologue in "The Prince of Tides" was amazing. But this time ... come on ... Conroy seems to be reaching a bit for a romantic, sepia-toned description of Charleston. It reads more like PR copy written by someone from the Visitor's Bureau. One description - "or hear the bells of St. Michael's calling cadence in the cicada-filled trees along Meeting Street" is odd because we all know the major sound on Meeting Street these days are leaf blowers.

One other odd statement about Charleston, Conroy writes that the city is "tolerant of nothing mismade or ostentatious." Yeah, I never see anything ostentatious in Charleston. No ostentatious houses, no ostentatious people.

Wow.

CHAPTER ONE: Let's see, another sibling suicide. Another overbearing unloving mother. More lapsed Catholic angst. I've already read "The Prince of Tides."

CHAPTER TWO: OMG. The book has recipes. Leo describes how to prepare benne wafers. *sigh* I expect recipes in a Benton-Frank novel. Not here.

More lapsed Catholic angst.

Okay ... no high school kids are this witty.

Found a continuity error. The mother keeps telling Leo they are having lunch at the Yacht Club. "Noonish," she says. However on page 39 there is this sentence: "Just after three, I began packing the cookies in a tin ... " and on page 45 it says "it was the noonday hour ..."

So, is this a time-travel book also?

********
CHAPTER SIX: Huge continuity and character error on page 99. Previously, (pg.37) Leo spends half a page about how his mother NEVER cooked, how in 18 years he had "seen his mother in the kitchen only during those times when she was passing through on her way to the garage ... I could not swear she had ever lit the stove ... or even knew the direction to the spice cabinets."

Pg. 99 - Leo's mother is making hot chocolate for everyone after a late night disturbance! Hmmm, good thing hot chocolate doesn't need something from the spice cabinets.

************

PART TWO: Okay, This section is written in present tense. *sigh* There are dozens of books I haven't read because they are written in present tense. It's pretentious, disconcerting and, unfortunately, becoming more prevalent. I cannot think of any novel that is improved by the use of present tense vs. past tense.

Resisting the urge to skip along. These characters are waaay too clever and I have yet (pg. 175) found a character that I like.

******

Again, I don't like ANY of these people! Conroy has created a perfect Politically Correct group of friends. The books starts in 1969 and Leo becomes friends with two blacks (one who becomes Police Chief in Charleston), two orphans from the mountains of North Carolina (outcasts that are snubbed by Charleston society), a brilliant brother and sister whose mother is a drunk and father is a psychopath (the brother is a brilliant pianist and homosexual and the sister is gorgeous and becomes a major Hollywood star) and oddly enough, a couple of Charleston elites named Rutledge. Leo (the narrator) is such a wimp (even wimpier than Tom Wingo in "The Prince of Tides") who lives in Charleston society but is not part of it. Why is he friends with these awful people and why is he so devoted to them? There had better be a good explanation later in this book, cause if not ... he is a total wuss!

*****

PART THREE: This section is also written in present tense. *sigh* Here comes the cliched AIDS section. During the 1980s the brilliant pianist lives in San Fran and contracts AID, and suddenly becomes mussing; all the Charleston high school friends come running to the rescue.

Basically, I am now reading this book just to finish it. HIGHLY DISAPPOINTING. I'm beginning to think that "Beach Music" is a better than this novel! And "Beach Music" was tedious. Wow.

*******

Finally finished the San Fran section. Talk about weak plot points. The Chas. group is in San Fran searching for their missing friend and one of them gets mugged and (wait for it) the mugger turns out to be a man from South Carolina who the Chas. men had played football against in high school!!!!! The mugger went on to play professional football for the Oakland Raiders and then became a crack addict and is living in an abandoned car. *WHAT?* So, the Chas. group helps him, reforms him ... I'm sure he will show up later in the book and perform some heroic act.

PART FOUR: The predictable flashback back to high school and the events that made this group to become close friends. *Yawn*.

QUESTION: Why does Conroy keep talking about the palm-shaded streets and " the city of palms". Last time I looked, 99% of them are Palmettos, not palms.

Less than 100 pages to go. YEA!!

******
Finally, DONE!

Okay, Conroy validated something I already knew - most Charleston people South of Broad are inbred morons. You'd have to be to think that riding out a hurricane on Water Street was a good idea.

Predicted the ending 100 pages ago. VERY cliched ... very overwrought. *yawn* The main problem with this novel is - I didn't give a shit about any of these characters.

I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS TO ANYONE!!! Go back and read "The Great Santini", "The Lords of Discipline" or "The Prince of Tides." Those are great books. "Beach Music" sucked. And this one sucks AND blows.

Let's see. Conroy will have another novel written in 10 years (maybe) and I'm pretty sure I won't read it.

Friday, August 7, 2009

25 MOST ROMANTIC SONGS

There are hundreds of lists of THE MOST ROMANTIC SONGS on-line. I am astounded by how many bad songs people seem to think are romantic. It doesn't give me hope for their idea of romance. So, here is my list. Feel free to tell me all my songs suck, but you'd better come up with your own list.


Alphabetically listed. Click on the song to listen to a sample.


  • A Good Feelin’ To Know – Poco. C’mon! One of the happiest songs I’ve ever heard. Why this song was not a MASSIVE hit in the early 70s is one of the greater mysteries of pop music. If Ritchie Furay never did anything else in his professional life, (and he did a lot more!) he wrote this amazing song about the joys of being in love.
  • Because – The Dave Clark Five. Great 60s rock ballad. Beats any love song the Beatles ever recorded. The answer to every question is “Because, because, I love you.” (Note: the version of the song linked is NOT the original.)
  • Chances Are – Johnny Mathis. Lush and dreamy. Mathis is always good to set a romantic mood.
  • Drunk On Love – Radney Foster. A really fun love song about a man sitting at a bar who realizes he has just fallen in love. Greatest line: “That kiss you just hammered me with, girl/ it’s a staggering revelation.”
  • Fade Into You – Mazzy Starr. Most people first heard this song in the movie “Angus”. Once you hear it, it haunts you. Hope Sandoval’s voice is barely a whisper floating on top of an ethereal beat lush with tambourine, acoustic guitar, a weeping slide and tinkling piano. Lovely.
  • Fooled Around and Fell In Love – Elvin Bishop. Okay, I’m showing my 1970s roots here. But if the music critic on Yahoo can choose ‘Let’s Do It’ by LL Cool J as a romantic song … I can choose this simple love song with a killer guitar solo by Bishop and a yearning vocal by Mickey Thomas. This is the song that makes me forgive Thomas every time I hear him singing “We Built This City” with the Starship.
  • Fools That Dream – Radney Foster. Foster is an amazing songwriter. This is one of his best … a man realizing that sometimes love leads you in a direction that others don’t agree you should pursue. However, the best love stories are when people (fools) are not afraid to take a risk.
  • I Don't Care (Just As Long As You Love Me) – Buck Owens. A bright happy love song that opens with the great line “Well, I don’t care if the sun don’t shine / I don’t care if the bells don’t chime / Just as long as you love me.” Perfect.
  • I Fall To Pieces – Patsy Cline. Almost everyone chooses ‘Crazy’ for a romantic Patsy Cline song. I go against the grain. If you’re in love with someone who does not love you in return, Patsy sympathizes, and she’s got your back.
  • I Knew Love – Nanci Griffith. A bitter sweet ballad about love lost and the enduring hope that it is not forever gone.
  • I’ll Be Around – The Spinners. This may be one of my favorite song from the 1970s. Granted, it’s about a man who loses his love but resolves to be around for her should she ever need his friendship. That’s true romance. Greatest line: “And now it’s up to me / To bow out gracefully.”
  • It’s Magic – Keely Smith. An old fashioned love song, arranged and orchestrated by Nelson Riddle and sung with great emotion by Keely Smith. Riddle’s arrangement makes this version and allows Keely to sing the song twice … first as a slow ballad and then … as a swinging love song. All within 4 minutes!
  • I Saw The Light – Todd Rundgren. Another upbeat, happy love song. One of those songs that always makes me smile and feel good.
  • I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra. Frank is one of the ultimate make-out artists. I’ve always appreciated this ‘under my skin’ concept. Swingin’ and sexy. Try not to snap your fingers as you listen.
  • I Was Made To Love Her – Stevie Wonder. When compiling a Romantic Song list most people choose Stevie Wonder’s cheesy “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” or the atrocious “I Just Called To Say I Love You.” This song however, is fun, brimming with the joy of being in love.
  • Just My Imagination – The Temptations. Could be the prettiest song I’ve ever heard. Eddie Kendricks’ last song as part of the Temptations is one of the greatest love songs of all time. His voice is fragile and soaring.
  • Let's Pretend - The Raspberries. A classic pop song. Eric Carmen was a musical sponge and this song is a perfect distillation of The Beatles, Beach Boys and the Byrds.
  • Let’s Stay Together – Al Green. A love song about the hardship of cultivating the longevity of a relationship, sung with typical passion by one of the all time great soul singers.
  • Only Want To Be With You – Shelby Lynne. Originally recorded by Dusty Springfield as an up tempo pop song, Shelby Lynne slowed it down and turned it into a smoldering torch song. Absolutely stunning.(This will be our first dance when Rebel and I get married in January 2010.)
  • Our Love Is Here To Stay – Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald. The last song by George and Ira Gershwin is one of their best. The duet between Louis and Ella is, of course, masterful.
  • Power of Two – Indigo Girls. An amazing love song about the transforming power of a relationship.
  • Return To Me – Dean Martin. Are you kidding me? For sheer romanticism this is tough to beat. Lush strings and Dean singing in his inimitable style, and even breaking into Italian at one point. Also, the title and main song of one of my all time favorite movies.
  • Singin’ In The Rain – Gene Kelly. One of my all time favorite song because this is one of the greatest movies ever. You cannot separate the song from the famous scene of Kelly realizing he is love with Kathy Sheridan and celebrates his joy by cavorting in the street during a heavy rain. Sheer romantic magic! I still get a shiver when he Kelly sings "I've got a smile on my face."
  • Starless Summer Sky – Marshall Crenshaw. Another happy love song. Listen to this and you will have a smile on your face, and tapping your toes. Crenshaw should be an American Institution.
  • Sure Thing – Foster & Lloyd. Another Radney Foster song. Greatest line: “You dream of sure love and I dream of your love / Your dream and my dream are one in the same.”
  • Whenever You're On My Mind - Marshall Crenshaw. One last great pop song. Greatest line: "I leave the world behind / Whenever you're on my mind."